ஒரு புது நட்பு!

பரிதாபப்படுகிறேன். நேற்று ஒரு நபர் என்னிடம் சொன்னார் - எனக்கு கெடைச்ச நறைய பிரண்ட்ஸ் தண்ணி அடிக்கும் நால தான். தண்ணி அடிக்கும் போது அவர்கள் வெளிப்படையாக பேசுவார்கள். (சொல்லாமல் சொன்னது என்னவென்றால் - இதனால், தண்ணி அடிப்பது நல்லது)

என் மனதில் திடீரென எழும்பியன சில கேழ்விகள்:

1. அப்படி இவர் சொன்ன இந்த வரி அவர் நண்பர்களை பற்றி நல்ல இமேஜ் உருவாக்குவதற்காகவா? அல்லது அவர்களை பற்றி தவறாக பெசுவதர்க்காகவா?
   
2. குடி போதையில் மட்டுமே வெளிப்படையாக பேசும் ஒரு நபர், மற்ற நேரத்தில் வெளிப்படையாக பேச தயங்குவாரா? ஏன்? தையிரியக்குரைவினாலா?
   
3. குடி போதை இல்லையினில், தன் நண்பரிடம் ஒரு சின்ன தயக்கமும் இல்லாமல் முகத்தை பார்த்து 'டே நீ சொன்ன அந்த விஷயம் எனக்கு பிடிக்கலை' என்று சொல்ல முடியுமா? முடியாது. அதை குடி போதையில் மட்டுமே சொல்லுவார்கள்.
4. இப்படி நேருக்கு நேர் முகத்தை பார்த்து பேச முடியாத இந்த உறவு, உண்மையில் நட்பா?

நான் பார்த்த இந்த சிறு உலகத்தில், குடி ஒருவனுக்குள் ஒளிந்திருக்கும் மனிதனை வெளிப்படுத்தும் என பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். சாதுவின் போல் மற்ற நேரத்தில் இருப்பவன், குடி போதையில் தன் நண்பனை ரத்தம் காக்கவைத்து 'இது பாசம் டா' என சொல்பது பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். காலையில் தன் அலுவலகத்தில் 'மிகச்சிறந்த நகைச்சுவை உணர்வு கொண்டவர்' என்ற பட்டதை கொண்டு, ராத்திரியில், குடி போதையில் மிருகமாய் மாறி தன் மனைவியை கொளுத்த போனவரையும் பார்த்திருக்கிறேன்.

இது எப்பேர் பட்ட பாசம்? எந்த விதத்தில் இது நட்பாகும்? குடிப்பதின் மூலம் நல்ல மனிதன் வெளி வருகிறானா, ஒரு நல்ல நண்பன் கிடைக்கிரானா? அப்படி எதுவும் தெரியலையே!

குடிப்பதின் மூலம் 'முதல் முறையாக பேசும்' தயக்கம் பெரியளவில் போய்விடும் எனபது உண்மை. இதனால் சுமையின்றி பேசலாம், ஆனால் அதை 'நட்பு' என்று நினைத்துக்கொள்வது தவறு. ஏன் என்றால், தயக்கமின்றி தன் உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்த முடிவது நட்பின் அடிப்படை ஆகும். இந்த அடிப்படை இல்லையினில், நட்பு இல்லை. அது வெறும் வெளி வேஷம் தான்!

நான் இதுவெல்லாம் அவரிடம் சொல்லவில்லை, ஏனென்றால், இன்னும் எங்கள் மத்தியில் நட்பு இல்லை. குடியின் அடிப்படையில் நட்பை ஆரம்பிக்க நான் மறுக்கிறேன்... காலையில் அவரிடம் இதை முகத்தில் பார்த்து சொல்ல நான் தயார். நட்பா, இல்லையா என்று காலையில் தெரிந்து விடும்...

நீங்கள் எப்படி?

Yours Only Truly

You are being watched. Yes, you! You are being watched on way to your destruction. It is such a curious design, a time bomb, ticking your time away, yet so silently that you never hear it coming. But you will. Everyone does. No exceptions. Irony it is that you know of its existence. But like the one clown around you, whom you laughed with, who’s now nothing more than a partly deluded, out-of-touch-with-reality being, you have trained your way into delusion, thus removed the inevitable’s thought from serious everyday thinking. You are correct. What else can be done with the clown?

Time is running out, and you don’t know when it stops ticking. So this is the time, the right time is now, this very moment. Summon all your passion and fight. Fight with all your might. Conjure all the hate that you can, and show to yourself how passionate you can be. Hate alone can reveal your true intensity. Love is weak, for it was ever meant to be so. With great naiveness, your were built to love everyone. But you are correct to arrive at the obvious conclusion that you can’t. So stop trying. You are on a quest to find The One whom you can pour your love on. Focus all your love on The One. His time is ticking too, and he’s looking out for you for the same reason as yours. Don’t wait.

Beauty is a feature, and not a talent – is such a ludicrous statement. Of course it is a talent. Go on; believe in your beauty in the deepest depths of your heart. But take care not to admit it so freely. Be intransigent, but discuss it fairly; you need to look and sound reasonable.

You don’t need many friends. Acquaintances are ok. Who will come till your end anyway? But don’t stop looking for them. You are self reliant. Are you not? Call it passion when you win something that others couldn’t. Call it passion – The subjects you can talk about better than others. You are special, an indispensable entity, with mind, material or emotion. But you will be expended soon. All the ‘remembered for good deeds’ things will fade soon, Hitler is remembered too, and Gandhi was killed by someone’s hate. Goodness can be misleading.

Fear is good. That’s what they taught you thinking you’ll overcome it. Fools they are. You never really overcame it. Its reflection is there in every decision you’ve made. Evil is for good too, if only you could see it closely. Can you believe it?

Keep in mind what I said! We will meet soon for sure!!

You are being watched, and your time is ticking...

Yours only truly,
Death

Stuck Song Syndrome

Ever had a song stuck on your mind?

Well, I call this ‘stuck-song-syndrome’ (or SSS - as some of you know I call it). It is highly contagious, and can cause major restlessness, sometimes leading to sleepless nights, and can make you buy music players! This time around, the syndrome has hit me, and had hit hard. One song from the past has come back. The song, composed by Vidyasagar, for the Tamil movie Nilaave vaa, is decorated with voices of Hariharan and Chitra.

The first time I heard this song in 1998, I immediately fell in love with it. Till today evening, I did not know the name of the movie, or any other details of it. But now I do. Thanks to Google. It never occurred to me to find more about the movie, or the lyrics, or the characters who played this song. That’s because every time I would hear this song, everything around would become void, and long after the song would finish, when I would overcome the syndrome (which typically lasts for a week), I would be too worn out to do anything about it.

At this point, I have to emphasize that you do not take this syndrome lightly. It has some very serious manifestations. I have put down 10 symptoms to identify it:

1. Humming the song ALL the time – (mostly uncontrollable)
2. Falling asleep takes a long time after getting into bed, and you curse yourself for playing the song in your mind/ears when you got in. Your sleep gets consumed.
3. First thing in the morning – THE Song. Brushing and everything else can follow later.
4. Thinking of taking the music player to the morning shower. (I’m serious!)
5. All forms of verbal communication suddenly come down to a few seconds, yet is seems like an eternity. :)
6. Everyone else sound monotonous.
7. Awe at ‘how could they be so oblivious to this?’
8. Quick to anger if any other song is suggested (without being nice, or tactical, you know)
9. An irresistible urge to hear the song again and again in an infinite loop, and a counter urge holding you from doing it for the fear of hearing fatigue.
10. Occasional headache due to all the above.
    

Now I’m sure you’d have related to it! If you do, then I suggest consult a psychiatrist, and if you haven’t then go consult an ENT specialist. These are signs of a malignant addiction.

My stuck-song is a duet. Fluidity of Hariharan’s voice and the crystal clear voice of Chitra is one thing, the soft background score; with some grand performance by the string choir paint this song with utmost chastity. The first thing you’ll notice is how pleasant it sounds. And when you actually manage to get over it, and actually listen to it, you’ll notice, that much is said in this song without them being there in lyrics – The volumes of unspoken yet communicated words. The flux of voices in tender moments is a joy to notice. Lyrics – Again, I would prefer not to ruin the beauty of this song by explaining the lyrics in my limited words. Check it out yourself.

Composed on raag Darbari Kanada (supposedly), it is probably one of the best compositions I’ve ever heard. My heart blesses everyone that’s associated with it, the ones who so beautifully crafted the song from nowhere... I can hear my calling now, and am about to yield.
Sounds familiar??!!

-------------
Nee kaatru, naan maram Yenna sonnaalum thalaiyaatuven!

Where did you go?

Looked out of the window;
where did the birds go?
Looked at the tree;
where did the shade go?
Looked at the leaves;
where did the dew go?
Looked at the bricks;
where did the cave go?
Looked at the sand;
where did the kids go?

Asked the loneliness;
where did my friends go?
Spoke to an old friend;
where did the fire go?
Looked into the flames;
where did the forms go?
Looked at the sky;
where did the stars go?
Wondered in the nights;
where did the stories go?

Looked at the rain;
where did the fun go?
Looked into the puddle;
where did that world go?
Asked snail;
where did its trail go?
Looked at the post box;
where did the mails go?
Stamps, and coins, and paper kites;
where did you all go?

Alas! Asked the ever present; where did the child go?!!

Another Load of e-Bull

After a long time, I peeped into my Yahoo mail. There were about a hundred new e-mails (not including the clearly ‘spam’ tagged e-mails, but real e-mail from seemingly real people). With enormous enthusiasm, I started checking the e-mails, one by one, from the latest to the oldest. The effect was almost immediately devastating. About 70 e-mails in all from long lost friends, trying desperately to reach me! Oh poor dear! How did I become so cold hearted to have forsaken them for so long? How could I abandon them? How could I not feel their efforts of trying to reach me?


With moist eyes, trembling fingers, I looked at the computer monitor, and started reading the first e-mail. Little did I know what was lurking in there…

Email #1: Sub: abc has sent you a friends request

On opening this e-mail, I found him addressing me as ‘Hi Om” I was so happy that finally one of those buggers has managed to find time to send an e-mail to me. But on further reading, I figured out that this was a computer generated message. By Jove! I could have sworn at first that it was written by abc!! Now it turns out it is not. Anyway, I followed the link, and the web page asked me to join the ‘networking’ group. I joined. ‘abc must have been using this website to locate his lost friends’ I thought to myself. Oddly, there were about 50 friends in his ‘friends-list’, and 10 scraps. I went on and left a message for him as someone else also had. Promptly logged off the webpage, and came back to my e-mails, content that I found one friend.

Email #2: From: Zorpia
Sub: bcd invites you to join Zorpia

Frowns. This is another person. But… Something is familiar about this e-mail. I clicked the e-mail to open a good shot of another invitation to this ‘very special’ networking group (as bcd mentioned).

Email: #3: From: WAYN
Sub: cde added you as a friend on WAYN

I started to get annoyed…

Email #4: FROM : WAYN
Sub: You have 6 messages and 1 friend request

Ever felt frustration compounding annoyance?

Email #5: From: WAYN
Sub: You have 8 messages and 1 friend request

What? Do you mean to say that when I got e-mail #5 there were 8 messages awaiting me, and by the time e-mail #4 came, two messages were deleted? Is this terrorism or something? Has someone broken into my un-accepted invitations, and deleted just two messages from it? I mean, am I nuts? I should like to meet those deleters, the rotten lot, for they seem to have the most free time in the world to do such things!

Email #6: From: WAYN
Sub: Where are you?

Bloody desperado!

Email #7: From: Konnects
Sub: I am inviting you to join my network

Go to hell…

Email #8: From: Tagged
Sub: X, Y and Z are waiting for you

What? X, Y, and Z? Waiting for me?? This sounds like they’re waiting to do something nasty!
GO TO HELL!!

Email #9: From: Tagged
Sub: Please respond or they will think you said no :(

abc again? This time from Tagged?? Aarrgh…
Note the sad smiley at the end. How innocent! It almost made me respond…
I hurriedly made a note – ‘Throttle abc if ever he crosses your path again. PS: Show no mercy’

Email #10: From: hi5
Sub: jkl has sent you a hi5 Friend request

Grrr… delete

Email #11: From: Twitter
Sub: pqr wants to keep up with you on Twitter

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

Email #12: From: Scour
Mail:

Hey,

Did you hear about Scour? It is the next gen search engine with Google/Yahoo/MSN results and user comments all on one page. Best of all we get paid for using it by earning points with every search, comment and vote. The points are redeemable for Visa gift cards! It's like earning credit card or airline points just for searching! Hit the link below to join for free and we will both get points!"


That was it! I hurriedly logged off my account, shut the computer, and ran away to the opposite wall, breathing heavily due to frustration, still staring at the monitor with disgust till long after it was off.

I had just witnessed a grand misuse of my e-mail address. The ones who did it were the one who call me their friends. I mean, they have my e-mail address. Why not compose a mail when they want to convey something? Why not ask me over e-mail before giving out my ID to those websites? Email-12 is an example, where indirect lures in the form of gift prompted this person to give my e-mail ID to scour. Doesn’t anyone miss me and contact me?

None of these ‘friends request’ ask ‘Hi, how are you? I heard you… blah blah’. Only – Join this community, join that network, bulls and more bulls. e-bulls!

What do you do on a social networking site?

1. You do no speak anything personal (because of obvious reasons)
2. You do not exchange e-mail IDs, phone numbers (at least you don’t let it be there for long)
3. You are cautious of messaging anything that can trigger controversy (among the other person’s friends. Reason – Obvious)
4. You do not speak of how you feel about something or someone (reason – Your other friends may track this message down. Needless trouble)
5. In fact, you do not speak anything meaningful!
6. You are not the real you!!

Just to end up showing that you are there to speak sweet nothings? Harmless little things? This partly explains why there’s an ever growing demand for the social networking sites. Everyone’s nice here. Welcome all. None who accept my invitation shall feel hurt here. Mr. Hyde shall not be seen here.

Some websites go a step beyond that. Facebook asks you if it can send a particular invitation to your friends from, say, your e-mail@provider.com account. If you select ‘all’, then every individual in your address book gets the invitation to join! Perhaps your boss will too, as he might be in your address book. Such ruthlessness!

I am sure my friends are meticulously filling up my inbox even now, I wish them all the very best.

The Quest of Desire

Sitting by the lake, the breeze hit my face on a fine Sunday evening. The rhythm of waves hitting the shore broke open the box, and so emerged a stream of thoughts that demanded attention. Nothing was broken, except me. The desire of being looked into – the desire of being looked through the faces woven so meticulously, started to surface. The impermeable web of faces was indeed impervious, for the keenest of eyes failed to look beyond it. And why should they, for it was never meant to be so. Why then the heart desires that someone looks beyond?

‘What is being protected so fiercely?’

Alas! It is not even known that something’s actually being – Not even to me. Yet, the heart desires…

To the beholder far beyond – It is but a green tree bearing fruits with a glossy trunk. A traveler passing by dreads – The green tree hovers above a dark pit, bearing hollow fruits, a hollow glossy trunk, roots unseen, watered by the darkness below. The roots of my own faces! ‘Was it I that sowed me where I now am?’ Yet the tree is green and bears fruit, and it is by its own virtue that it does; for the others around it have perished, succumbing to the darkness from not where their roots once were, but from the one within.

The fiercely protected were my own fruits, desired to be reached by the ones who desire it. There is no pit, no hollowness around. The fruits know it, they can see it. The roots are clearly visible, and there is serenity. The observer still speaks of the dread, the dark pit, the hollowness, which is but an illusion. He knows it, yet, his fear keeps him away. Unspoken remains the secret passage to the tree itself, to the fruit that has existed to be shared; to the one who sees it, to the one who desires it, but certainly not to be wasted by the passing of time. Dilemma thus creeps into creating the unheard roars of its battle with desire, creating the utmost unrest from within. No one notices this struggle, for the web of faces the tree has woven to protect its fruits, buries the turmoil deep inside, lest the traveler becomes aware of it, the chances of shedding the fruit turns slim.

Dilemma will be defeated; either by the victory of the desire, or by its defeat, for the very existence of dilemma is due to the existence of the desire it is fighting with. And since it is so, the heart goes on, and desires…

Darkness fell. Not within me, but outside. It was night, and the sparking moonlight over the calm ripples of water glimmered in my eyes. It was time to go home, once again, to start the journey towards a new day, to wear the impermeable mask, yet again.