Puddle Adventure

After the rain had stopped, I stepped out of my house just like every other kid in the neighborhood to play out in the open. With rain, came the ubiquitous puddles, and with them, came a host of fun things to do.

I still remember – Looking into one such puddle, I would see the reflection of the house next to it. Blue sky, with small patches of white cloud would appear crystal clear in it. I would stare at the still reflection for a while, imagining that through this puddle, the image I beheld was actually that of a real world. Then I would bring one of my feet over the reflection of the sky, just an inch above the surface of the puddle, careful not to disturb it. Slowly, that reflection would turn into a real world.

Just like a parajumper would see his feet dangling in the cold air, a fraction of the second before taking the plunge from that plane, I would feel that at any moment, I could tumble down into the deep blue abyss right below my raised foot, into the infinity. The nervous excitement was very real, and thus I lived the adventure to its fullest, to the brink of toppling over.

Just when the illusion appeared to become too real, I would to pull away my leg from that puddle in that moment of fright and excitement. Stepping aside, I would wait and watch the puddle again, this time, with its surroundings. I then, used to chuckle at how I managed to create a reality in my mind, that was so very real, and that the adventure was so much scary, so much fun!!

The puddle, it appeared to me then, would lie there, awaiting its next prey, as I walked away to amuse myself with other indulgences of a typical child in the after-rain, knowing that the door to the other world lay ajar right behind my back…

So this time after the rain, watch out for the puddles… They await you!

Irony

"When he was in misery, and in pain,
Struggling and straggling,
She looked up to the ones
With riches and fame,

When he won that success,
That glory, that gloss,
She admired the one,
Who had these not!"

Fall Colours - Lost and Found

"The storm had passed, and it was bright again, though not sunny. The light was strangely homogeneous, and hardly managed to cast well defined shadows, thus ending up as dull gloom beneath the trees. The scent of wet soil was fading away even as the fresh leaves of green, of red and of yellow, the fragrance of barks, and the contrast of the sky, all invited me with open arms. Mother Nature was displaying her grand splendor, with occasional accent that was a distant rumble of clouds somewhere far in the horizon.

And so I went on, into the wild, on a trail guarded by the solemn trees guarding it since ages. Every anxious stride anticipated some deep mystery conjured by the mind, a pressing need, to be there – to the bosom of the woods. On I went on the snaking trail, where there was no sound, but that of crickets, and returning birds. No patch of land was to be seen, just hedges of green, and leafy vistas. Where it went to, I never knew. I did not want to…

Thus began my journey into the woods, with no desire to return; to come to be known as ‘lost’, and ‘to know’ to have been found by the wilderness."

A Short Story

He looked at the half-finished portrait, and knew it will never be completed. With the last bit of will-to-live fading, his heart wailed, and for once and for ever, begged for a concession of self-pity...

Drona

Monday morning started watching a completely harassed face of my co-worker. On enquiring, I realized he had been to a movie the day before. “Drona”.

He said I looked haggard too.

By far the most depressing movie of the year, Drona has hit #1 in my list of ‘most wicked’ movies of all time. I heard someone saying ‘it’s gonna beat the s*** out of Krrish’. What? I’m sure he must have been the distributor of the movie. Here are my opinions:

About the story:

A perfect example of discontinuity. Roads in Banaglore show more continuums. Intense scenes (pun intended) are followed by perfectly out-of-place songs. All the while, the time and the plot of the movie were working their magic, and soon enough, I found myself absolutely confused. My co-worker admitted that he saw many roaches lying face up on the floor when he left the theatre. I’m not surprised.

Songs:

Don’t remember any. Sorry about that, but to retain the songs in my head would have caused me nausea.

Graphics/SFX/CG/Whatever:
My vote goes to ‘Shaktiman’.

Screenplay:

Priyanka Chopra: She’s done well for what she took up. Abhishek Bachchan: He’s also done quite well too. I mean, it is no easy task maintaining same expression (or rather, absence of expression) all the time, regardless of what comes to him. Try it?

Fights:

Two things about fights:

1. All high-action fights are in slow motion.
2. All other fights are in slow-motion.

And much more...
Then there are innumerous magicians, cut-paste from Lord Of the Rings (pardon me LOTR fans, I mean no offence), and enough content to make you panic.

So I recommend you to see the movie too so that you too can enjoy and appreciate the true value of life, and that of being at home, away from all worldly evils.

Cheers!
Om

Capitalism - Recycled

For a moment, consider time travel possible. Now take a team of 100 workers into the future about 5000 years from now. A new revolution has just taken place, and modern working models have been built. People are excited and are bashing the corrupt system created in the time you come from. They call it ‘capitalism’.

You observe that Capitalism, that you’re blamed to have created is unlike anything you had seen. “Capitalism is not bad; it builds economies, and has brought prosperity to nations worldwide”. The new system the revolution has brought seemed to be nothing new to you. However, the people of revolution claimed that their system is far better than yours ever was.

The very ‘rewards’ you’ve known are now seen as matters of discrimination, and people now demand for equal rights at office, while their rewards were being given in the form of social standards, as work and life had fused together.

Capitalism, to them, was corrupt from day one, and was believed to have been put in place to divide people in the name of rewards, to classify them, to suppress the underdogs. All your efforts fail when you try to get them to know ‘the’ Capitalism that you’ve known, only to realize that it had corrupted so much over 5000 years, and the memories of Capitalism as it was in 21st century had faded into dust.

Passing a judgment over Indian Caste system – Have we explored it to the fullest on what it was originally designed to be, and how it was known 5000 years ago? The discoverers of ‘0’ (not the person, but intelligent decision makers) were not idiots; they should have known that the caste system will get corrupt over hundreds of years, yet they classified people based on their jobs?

I think they realized that caste system is inevitable, and will remain in the society in one form or other. Perhaps they realized that regardless of race, or country or religion, people will naturally classify themselves and others for various reasons, with or without the knowledge of ‘casteism’.
If not, then why then MPs get class-A jail for felony, while ordinary citizens get lesser ones. Why? Is this not a caste system in disguise? Open your eyes, and look out, the examples lay wide open in front of you…

Mistakes Repeated

What are your answers to these questions:

Can you book the board room in your office for some kind of meeting on your own?

Does the idea of ‘job-grades’ offend you?

While on a business travel, have you been sent in an ‘executive’ class seat? Which class does you manager take during business flights? (If not your immediate manager, then consider your manager’s manager).

Have you noticed a different colored badge of another employee who’s stuck to your organization longer than you have? Why do you have a different colored badge than his?

Why can’t you park your vehicle at the ‘reserved’ slots? (Why, even if you are physically challenged).

Does a guy of a higher job-grade travel more than you do to come to work? Yes? No? Not sure? Why then can he claim more petrol expenses than you can?

Have you taken ‘mandatory’ polls and ‘trainings’? Who mandated them?

If you think that the above mentioned discriminations are justified, then you’ve Just accepted the caste system of the modern world. I’m sure you’d bombard me with numerous ‘+’ points about this modern system, and how different it is, but remember, the differences will vanish if only you take your research a few thousand years back in Indian history.

We've learnt nothing from the classical Caste system. So let's go on, repeat its mistakes. Our descendants are going to hate us for that, just as we hate the creators of the caste system.

(so much more to write in too little a space...)

The Offender

Sam was not like this, but wonder what happened to him…
Here are some excerpts from his recent life...

"He was rude to his friends, often told them things they didn’t like."

"James got divorced after his wife learnt that he was a doper. Thanks to Sam."

"Sam’s own girlfriend broke up with him after seeing the signs that he’s so ‘calculative’."

"He was not a team player, and easily managed to offend people around by saying something that they did not like".

"Sure, his manager didn’t like it after Sam protested the rejection of his ideas for a ‘better workplace’. The manager chose to remain silent over his demands".

"He was charged with a fine of $200 for over speeding by 5 mph, but he corrected the judge saying it was in fact 8 mph".

"His neighbors hated him as he used to tell them that he hated them with all his heart".

"He lost his job. No one is hiring him now. Wonder what they saw in his résumé…"

Many such incidents about Sam, but none from the month before and the months before that. This is the month when Sam decided to do two things – 1) Not to tell lies anymore, and 2) Not to speak of anything unless asked about.

The Gaze

I was waiting for John, my friend, as we were going to F1-race today. Just then I met this person. He was so familiar, yet he looked like a stranger. It was clear to me what he was thinking even as he stole his eyes away from me, but he quickly learnt what I was thinking, and forcefully steadied his gaze into my eyes - Like a shield. I believe that one needs to have a clear conscience to genuinely look into someone else’s eyes. I felt happy about myself for being able to do it. He knew it too, that’s why he was not able to look into mine. I pitied him, for he was feeling bad about something he did; or rather, something that he should have done, but did not.

I had no solution for the state that he was in, for he lived in the past, and hoped for the future, while I, lived in the present. His misery was his hope that he could fix things one day, while for me, things are good as they are, as they were, and as they will be. My gaze was hurting him. So I did the least I could do for him – To relieve him of my gaze. He looked relieved, and he looked aside, perhaps over my shoulder. So much was spoken, yet not a word uttered! I sure knew him too much...

Just then I heard someone knocking the door. John stepped in and called out. “Hey, you, we are getting late, and if you’re done with the mirror, can we start now?”

Nostalgia

Laughter was all around as he cracked just cracked a joke over his own silliness. Silly that he was to many, he managed to bring smiles on faces of even those who thought he’s not. Stealing his steps aside from the still laughing faces and unaware eyes, he looked into them one last time. A leaf fell down on this shoulder from the tree it long belonged to. It is time. With the laughter still ringing in his ears, his steps started on unseen path, on the journey, to the unknown. He looked at his marching feet, little did he know that they shall never face these faces, ever again.

The Fulfilling Emptiness :)

The house was empty until I moved in to fill it. I’m inclined to think that I left an emptiness somewhere else. Little did I know that this empty space I came to fill in would eventually empty me. Surprisingly, I am feeling good about it!

During this transition, the depths of the relationships I had made and the sullen-looking emptiness fought a bitter battle. But when the chaos settled, silence lost its form, growing loud, yet never unpleasant. When emptiness filled me, there remained no past, and no future. There’s now just that very moment I’m living in. The joy of experiencing ‘right now’ became clear to me just like fog clearing away to reveal dew drops in the dawn.

…right now, at least one of my many long-lost friends is thinking about me… And right now, I know that he is! If not now, then perhaps 1 minute ago, or maybe an hour ago, or even a day ago; but he did spend a second for me… And in this very moment, I am acknowledging it.

…right now, that person is existing… somewhere that I cannot see, but that person sure does exist right in this very fraction of second. His heart is beating without fail, he is breathing, and perhaps doing something that makes him him.



Mind1: What is he/she doing right now?
Mind2: Perhaps he/she is smiling right now.
Mind1: For what? For whom? How’s he/she feeling about it? What is the subject?
Mind2: Perhaps he/she has just stood up to walk.
Mind1: Where to? Anything important?
Mind2: Perhaps he/she is fighting with abc.
Mind1: Over what? How bad is it?
Mind2: He/she is not doing anything.
Mind1: Can’t be. How can you not do anything? Even sleeping is like doing something! Is he/she not even thinking? Only a dead person is not doing anything. Not even breathing. And I refuse to think that he/she is dead. So what is he/she doing right now?

When I considered the last line, my mind raced all over again thinking of the possible things that are being done now by that person. And when I considered thinking of more than 1 person’s possible activities at that very fraction of time, it became just too much for me to imagine.

The questions of Mind1 are a result of the fact that I am curious by nature, and the other fact that I have known that person in the past. It is an undeniable fact that you are doing one thing or the other at all times (though we prefer to call it by various names). You are reading this right now, and perhaps I am thinking of you and am also thinking that you are reading this…


In reality, I don't know what you are doing right now. But this emptiness has shown to me the depths of how much I have known you. I'm sure more than often, what I think you are doing is absolutely right. Think about it...

Can you think what I am doing right now? – This very moment of finishing reading this passage?? Come on.. you can do it...

The One Moment I Lived

It beats me to see how one can sleep during a flight. To me, it is one of the best experiences one can live to see; a privilege of being a human. On board flight 676 from DFW to Orlando, Florida, this thought passed my mind. One moment, I looked out of the window, the other moment, I turned back to see people dozing.

In the wake of the impending hurricane Gustav, the flight cruised over the calm clouds revealing the thin violet-blue bubble below, through which I could see the civilization settled within their many boxed shelters and elaborate roads snaking throughout. In the twilight, the nature was displaying its inescapable magnificence.

Looking up straight ahead was our very sun, peeping from behind seemingly unoccupied clouds, casting brilliant rays of light, displaying its dazzling and golden presence. It was the ruler of this place; glorious. Just at a tilt of vision through the bubble to the land below, on the right, I beheld a thousand tiny specks of lights, being put on by people welcoming the nightfall. One the left, everything was still well lit by the sunshine. Yet, it was so much more bright up here over the clouds. It was an unforgettable moment where the elements of light were displaying all the moods of a day, bright, twilight, and dark – All in the same view out of the little window of the dutiful air plane.

Unpretentious seemed the calm of nature, as it was just a matter of time when its many conspiracies would be unleashed somewhere over the horizon. But right then, it was hard to comprehend the fullness of the wrath this calmness could bring upon. The ones below seemed yet so feeble, awaiting the inevitable, growing old and anxious with every beat of heart, and every swing of pendulum, being prepared.

Wonder what it was doing at such an unearthly place – that one gust of wind that hit our plane. Turbulence. I came out of my trance and turned lazily away from the window. Only a few souls awake, rest were still oblivious of the existence outside. Perhaps they were scared to look out, maybe they were too bored looking at the same thing over and over again, or perhaps there was a long night awaiting them. I would never know which way they went, but I had devoured the moment, becoming one of the few, who had met the sun, the sky, the land, the light, from that very place in the sky, from that window, on that day, in that hour, in that very fraction.

Never ever will that moment be repeated till eternity, for the clouds would have marched ahead with its brethrens-of-that-day scattered all over the unknown, my fellow passengers changed, the same window seat with stained glass lost, the flight routes changed, or even my own youth, lost in time. That moment will never come to exist ever again.

I’m thankful that I was awake, for the rendezvous with the beauty outside will live for ever in the depths of my heart...

Excuse Me?!!

Actions speak louder than words. You have heard this before, and are content thinking you have seen this being practiced. I am here to present to you a slightly different perspective of this phrase. What we know is this: If you only make claims of your actions, rather than making the actions no one is going to buy this. If you make something happen, and then speak about it (or not speak at all), the idea is understood instantly by the receiver.

What we usually don’t realize is that the actions are not always visible things. Like you need not build a Taj Mahal to show how much you love someone. If you try, then perhaps you’ll be on you deathbed when it gets completed, resulting in a glorious defeat of your purpose. Neither do expensive gifts nor greeting cards help.

So what helps then? The answer is surprisingly inside you. Nature has built in us, a wonderful system that can transmit and receive subliminal messages(Wikipedia). It is a tried and tested method, and works every time, with everyone. No exceptions (unless you are talking to a certified dead man). These methods are often known to be misused, but it does not rule out the fact that we constantly receive powerful messages sub-consciously. Let me present it to you with simple examples/proof.

Mr. Cesar Millan – The 'Dog Whisperer'. One of the most admired personalities, for his work on canine dynamics. The Dog Whisperer episodes are aired everyday at noon on NGC, where Cesar goes about solving his clients' problems with their pet dogs. An excellent show, with a very practical approach! The issues with pet dogs, he states, is not due to the dogs, but due to the humans who owns them. Almost everyday, on the show, you could see dogs disobeying their owners.

Cesar's usual solution is: Don’t just throw words at dogs, they don’t understand them, but really mean what you say, and the dog will follow. Cast a mental projection. It happens every time. Whatever kind of energy you project mentally, the dog reacts/adapts to that energy. Words are useless. Humans, too are capable of understanding subliminal messages, and the fact it that these messages are more powerful than the equivalent word used to describe them.

The mental projection of your ‘state of mind’ is what you are really speaking, and not the words you use at any given moment. Hypnotists use this technique. Psychologists have written volumes on it. Yet, we seldom comprehend/use these techniques for a better life for ourself and the ones around us. It is really simple! Just own a pet dog! :)

In Thailand, Buddhist monks run a tiger conservation project, where they rescue tigers, and grow them as pets (see tigertemple). Wow! With a little googling, you’ll find that the techniques followed by these monks are similar to Cesar’s. ‘Calm submission through mental projections’. With humans, our intent is not ‘calm submission’ but understanding the reasons for the ‘misunderstandings’. You sure want to know everything that you have spoken to the other person.

A certain Mr. X loves a girl, but he claims that he doesn’t. The girl doesn’t love him. Mr. X’s words claim that he has nothing to do with her, but one way or other he ends up messing things up even more with her. His actions speak. She receives it and reacts instinctively (or perhaps consciously), but he doesn’t get it. Mr. X seriously believes in the ‘actions speak louder’ stuff, and often boasts his professional successes due to it.

What he doesn’t realize is that he is so messed up man!! I mean, how can you not understand English if you claim to be a professor of English? He often blames people of inconsistencies in their actions and words (‘frank feedback’ he claims), but he doesn’t ever listen people’s ‘frank-feedback’ about his inconsistencies.

Mr. X, sure remains a major customer at the Stupidity-Super-Sale-Centre, and he consistently manages to make a grand mess of things by speaking about things that deserve better communication without words rather than the lesser method of verbalization.

Space is less, and topic huge. Some more for later...

The Search for Normalcy

The natural state of our minds is to remain happy, cheerful, joyful. We strive constantly towards this state. We look for happiness, a smile, a joyful state around us, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. We, ourselves induce elements in our lives that wreck this normalcy, and then we go about bringing it back; we like to be busy doing something at all times.

Do you know someone who has a good sense of humor? And someone who is high on energy (yet mentally balanced) most of the time? Do you know someone who you think looks innocent? You like to hang around with these people because they make you smile (at least for that moment).

The feeling of feeling good need not be explained. It cannot be explained. It is unbelievably familiar to you. You laugh, or smile, or at least there’s a twinkle in your eyes when that feeling comes across. Being angry or depressed does not feel good. You know it doesn’t. This instinct, which, even in the absence of a medium called language, is understood by everyone. A new born must suckle. Fire burns. Food is good. Same way you know what feels good and what not. Of course then there is all this 'human intelligence' on top of it, but that's where the problem lies. Intelligence is acquired, instinct is ingrained.

So you continue to search for happiness, joy, peace, normalcy without knowing that that is the quest of each and everyone of us.
Have you entered a room full of people and immediately felt ‘This place is so messed up’, you would have wanted to wrap things up and leave at the earliest possible opportunity. On the other hand, there would have been days when you just entered a room full of people, and felt ‘this place is so cool’. You just feel good being in the room. And once you’ve felt good, you just want to be there for as long as you can.

If you are a person people like to hang around with, then there is something you manage to project as a 'normal state of life'. Happiness, contentedness, or perhaps a simple smile. They want to be with you for the energy you manage to project around. Words are feeble, but mental projections of the jovial energy are unmistakably undeceivable. They are received by one and all. You make them happy! A feat achieved without uttering a word or spending a penny!!

For this joy alone, many a people withstand all your whimsical, and perhaps nonsensical ways. They hope that you will give them the sense of good feeling some day again. Little do they realize that they need not wait for you. Same is true for you and for me. 'My happiness', is mine for god's sake. How can you or anyone else control it? It is precious to me, and precious things are not usually given in other's hands just like that. Problem is we try to have everything else in our hand, but give up our happiness in others'.

Next time you are angry, or depressed, I have only one thing to say – That is not your normal state of being, and nature has equipped you with instinct and intelligence to figure out ways of understanding this and getting over it in miraculous time. Go, go now and claim your happiness, your normalcy!

Happy smiling! :)

A Lost Friend

You took the bait. You always do. Can you tell me when I am being genuine, and when I am not? I'm sure you can figure it out, but neither you'll speak of it, nor will I. You know of my decietful pretenses, the bait, yet you take it. You're a smart bait taker!

Sometime ago, looking out of my balcony on a fine Sunday evening, I noticed the kids in the neighborhood playing. Two kids from the neighborhood were playing together. Anil and Bhaskar. The parents of these two kids seldom passed a day without some kind of altercation. It was a ritual they seem to take pride in.

After all, they earned their rights by buying their respective houses, and any kind of intrusion (be it in the form of sound waves, however insignificant they may be) was not encouraged. In this setup, tolerance was considered extremism. You could get an entirely different perspective of the joys of having such a neighbour if you get to speak to them. Quite unique. Lucid!

The two kids, on the other hand, used to play together at any opportunity of their Argus-eyed parents' absence, and they seemed to really enjoy it. Anil was (or seemed to be) an introvert, while Bhaskar was a guy of infinite energy. It was usually Bhaskar, who would devise quick solutions when they were about to be caught red handed, for a quick escape from their parents. But as kids they were, the grown-ups managed to catch them quite often, either playing cricket, or Ludo, and once, I-Spy. The punishments (as far as I am aware of it) was that his dad would not speak to him for days in a stretch, and would mostly attack his psyche in a subtle form. It was indirect, but was extremely powerful.

So it went that way. For sometime. But Bhaskar, as he was, adapted, and conjured an excellent solution to his situation. What he used to do was, that at the moment he was about to be caught playing with Anil, he would quickly start a fight. Usually by pinching Anil on his arm, and used to stand for him to react. Anil, usually shocked to see such a sudden behaviour from Bhaskar, would hesitate for a moment, then would vent out his frustration by hitting Bhaskar on his arm and run away. Sometimes, they would enter some major physical assault, till their parents came to their rescue. Keeping their parents busy later was an easy task. Anil was smart, and quickly understood what is going on. I'm sure, Bhaskar's quest did not end just there, but right there, I beheld ommon sense knitting together the common cause.

We grown-ups behave just as Anil and Bhaskar and their parents did. Very often, we go out of our ways to just keep everyone around us, around us - Just like what Bhaskar did. That's an outcome of adaptation. We devise strange ways to keep someone close to us, and sometimes to keep someone else at bay. In the case of Bhaskar and Anil, their parents took the bait and not Anil, while Anil was the one abused. A cleverly crafted way to keep their parents at bay, yet the kids close to each other. The key was the mutual trust between the two kids. Had Anil taken the bait, their lives would have turned around to perhaps, different directions.

The despair comes when the bait is taken by the one it is thrown towards but unintended - Being Bhaskar, hoping you to be the Anil. You'd know the reasons if you think like Anil did - Just for a moment. Unless you wear Anil's glasses, you will take the bait, you'll still know that you did, and you'll have your doubts about me.

I'm sure you've played Bhaskar too at some point of time in your life. Think how you felt when that 'Anil' didn't turn up the next day thinking you're a moron.

I think you've taken the bait, and you always do, though I still am inclined to hope that you have not. Or have I taken the bait? Did you throw something at me

hoping I'd not take it? I'm looking around for signs. The signs if you are hiding something from me, yet hoping I'd see it.

Are you looking out for my reasons too my friend?

ஒரு புது நட்பு!

பரிதாபப்படுகிறேன். நேற்று ஒரு நபர் என்னிடம் சொன்னார் - எனக்கு கெடைச்ச நறைய பிரண்ட்ஸ் தண்ணி அடிக்கும் நால தான். தண்ணி அடிக்கும் போது அவர்கள் வெளிப்படையாக பேசுவார்கள். (சொல்லாமல் சொன்னது என்னவென்றால் - இதனால், தண்ணி அடிப்பது நல்லது)

என் மனதில் திடீரென எழும்பியன சில கேழ்விகள்:

1. அப்படி இவர் சொன்ன இந்த வரி அவர் நண்பர்களை பற்றி நல்ல இமேஜ் உருவாக்குவதற்காகவா? அல்லது அவர்களை பற்றி தவறாக பெசுவதர்க்காகவா?
   
2. குடி போதையில் மட்டுமே வெளிப்படையாக பேசும் ஒரு நபர், மற்ற நேரத்தில் வெளிப்படையாக பேச தயங்குவாரா? ஏன்? தையிரியக்குரைவினாலா?
   
3. குடி போதை இல்லையினில், தன் நண்பரிடம் ஒரு சின்ன தயக்கமும் இல்லாமல் முகத்தை பார்த்து 'டே நீ சொன்ன அந்த விஷயம் எனக்கு பிடிக்கலை' என்று சொல்ல முடியுமா? முடியாது. அதை குடி போதையில் மட்டுமே சொல்லுவார்கள்.
4. இப்படி நேருக்கு நேர் முகத்தை பார்த்து பேச முடியாத இந்த உறவு, உண்மையில் நட்பா?

நான் பார்த்த இந்த சிறு உலகத்தில், குடி ஒருவனுக்குள் ஒளிந்திருக்கும் மனிதனை வெளிப்படுத்தும் என பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். சாதுவின் போல் மற்ற நேரத்தில் இருப்பவன், குடி போதையில் தன் நண்பனை ரத்தம் காக்கவைத்து 'இது பாசம் டா' என சொல்பது பார்த்திருக்கிறேன். காலையில் தன் அலுவலகத்தில் 'மிகச்சிறந்த நகைச்சுவை உணர்வு கொண்டவர்' என்ற பட்டதை கொண்டு, ராத்திரியில், குடி போதையில் மிருகமாய் மாறி தன் மனைவியை கொளுத்த போனவரையும் பார்த்திருக்கிறேன்.

இது எப்பேர் பட்ட பாசம்? எந்த விதத்தில் இது நட்பாகும்? குடிப்பதின் மூலம் நல்ல மனிதன் வெளி வருகிறானா, ஒரு நல்ல நண்பன் கிடைக்கிரானா? அப்படி எதுவும் தெரியலையே!

குடிப்பதின் மூலம் 'முதல் முறையாக பேசும்' தயக்கம் பெரியளவில் போய்விடும் எனபது உண்மை. இதனால் சுமையின்றி பேசலாம், ஆனால் அதை 'நட்பு' என்று நினைத்துக்கொள்வது தவறு. ஏன் என்றால், தயக்கமின்றி தன் உணர்வுகளை வெளிப்படுத்த முடிவது நட்பின் அடிப்படை ஆகும். இந்த அடிப்படை இல்லையினில், நட்பு இல்லை. அது வெறும் வெளி வேஷம் தான்!

நான் இதுவெல்லாம் அவரிடம் சொல்லவில்லை, ஏனென்றால், இன்னும் எங்கள் மத்தியில் நட்பு இல்லை. குடியின் அடிப்படையில் நட்பை ஆரம்பிக்க நான் மறுக்கிறேன்... காலையில் அவரிடம் இதை முகத்தில் பார்த்து சொல்ல நான் தயார். நட்பா, இல்லையா என்று காலையில் தெரிந்து விடும்...

நீங்கள் எப்படி?

Yours Only Truly

You are being watched. Yes, you! You are being watched on way to your destruction. It is such a curious design, a time bomb, ticking your time away, yet so silently that you never hear it coming. But you will. Everyone does. No exceptions. Irony it is that you know of its existence. But like the one clown around you, whom you laughed with, who’s now nothing more than a partly deluded, out-of-touch-with-reality being, you have trained your way into delusion, thus removed the inevitable’s thought from serious everyday thinking. You are correct. What else can be done with the clown?

Time is running out, and you don’t know when it stops ticking. So this is the time, the right time is now, this very moment. Summon all your passion and fight. Fight with all your might. Conjure all the hate that you can, and show to yourself how passionate you can be. Hate alone can reveal your true intensity. Love is weak, for it was ever meant to be so. With great naiveness, your were built to love everyone. But you are correct to arrive at the obvious conclusion that you can’t. So stop trying. You are on a quest to find The One whom you can pour your love on. Focus all your love on The One. His time is ticking too, and he’s looking out for you for the same reason as yours. Don’t wait.

Beauty is a feature, and not a talent – is such a ludicrous statement. Of course it is a talent. Go on; believe in your beauty in the deepest depths of your heart. But take care not to admit it so freely. Be intransigent, but discuss it fairly; you need to look and sound reasonable.

You don’t need many friends. Acquaintances are ok. Who will come till your end anyway? But don’t stop looking for them. You are self reliant. Are you not? Call it passion when you win something that others couldn’t. Call it passion – The subjects you can talk about better than others. You are special, an indispensable entity, with mind, material or emotion. But you will be expended soon. All the ‘remembered for good deeds’ things will fade soon, Hitler is remembered too, and Gandhi was killed by someone’s hate. Goodness can be misleading.

Fear is good. That’s what they taught you thinking you’ll overcome it. Fools they are. You never really overcame it. Its reflection is there in every decision you’ve made. Evil is for good too, if only you could see it closely. Can you believe it?

Keep in mind what I said! We will meet soon for sure!!

You are being watched, and your time is ticking...

Yours only truly,
Death

Stuck Song Syndrome

Ever had a song stuck on your mind?

Well, I call this ‘stuck-song-syndrome’ (or SSS - as some of you know I call it). It is highly contagious, and can cause major restlessness, sometimes leading to sleepless nights, and can make you buy music players! This time around, the syndrome has hit me, and had hit hard. One song from the past has come back. The song, composed by Vidyasagar, for the Tamil movie Nilaave vaa, is decorated with voices of Hariharan and Chitra.

The first time I heard this song in 1998, I immediately fell in love with it. Till today evening, I did not know the name of the movie, or any other details of it. But now I do. Thanks to Google. It never occurred to me to find more about the movie, or the lyrics, or the characters who played this song. That’s because every time I would hear this song, everything around would become void, and long after the song would finish, when I would overcome the syndrome (which typically lasts for a week), I would be too worn out to do anything about it.

At this point, I have to emphasize that you do not take this syndrome lightly. It has some very serious manifestations. I have put down 10 symptoms to identify it:

1. Humming the song ALL the time – (mostly uncontrollable)
2. Falling asleep takes a long time after getting into bed, and you curse yourself for playing the song in your mind/ears when you got in. Your sleep gets consumed.
3. First thing in the morning – THE Song. Brushing and everything else can follow later.
4. Thinking of taking the music player to the morning shower. (I’m serious!)
5. All forms of verbal communication suddenly come down to a few seconds, yet is seems like an eternity. :)
6. Everyone else sound monotonous.
7. Awe at ‘how could they be so oblivious to this?’
8. Quick to anger if any other song is suggested (without being nice, or tactical, you know)
9. An irresistible urge to hear the song again and again in an infinite loop, and a counter urge holding you from doing it for the fear of hearing fatigue.
10. Occasional headache due to all the above.
    

Now I’m sure you’d have related to it! If you do, then I suggest consult a psychiatrist, and if you haven’t then go consult an ENT specialist. These are signs of a malignant addiction.

My stuck-song is a duet. Fluidity of Hariharan’s voice and the crystal clear voice of Chitra is one thing, the soft background score; with some grand performance by the string choir paint this song with utmost chastity. The first thing you’ll notice is how pleasant it sounds. And when you actually manage to get over it, and actually listen to it, you’ll notice, that much is said in this song without them being there in lyrics – The volumes of unspoken yet communicated words. The flux of voices in tender moments is a joy to notice. Lyrics – Again, I would prefer not to ruin the beauty of this song by explaining the lyrics in my limited words. Check it out yourself.

Composed on raag Darbari Kanada (supposedly), it is probably one of the best compositions I’ve ever heard. My heart blesses everyone that’s associated with it, the ones who so beautifully crafted the song from nowhere... I can hear my calling now, and am about to yield.
Sounds familiar??!!

-------------
Nee kaatru, naan maram Yenna sonnaalum thalaiyaatuven!

Where did you go?

Looked out of the window;
where did the birds go?
Looked at the tree;
where did the shade go?
Looked at the leaves;
where did the dew go?
Looked at the bricks;
where did the cave go?
Looked at the sand;
where did the kids go?

Asked the loneliness;
where did my friends go?
Spoke to an old friend;
where did the fire go?
Looked into the flames;
where did the forms go?
Looked at the sky;
where did the stars go?
Wondered in the nights;
where did the stories go?

Looked at the rain;
where did the fun go?
Looked into the puddle;
where did that world go?
Asked snail;
where did its trail go?
Looked at the post box;
where did the mails go?
Stamps, and coins, and paper kites;
where did you all go?

Alas! Asked the ever present; where did the child go?!!

Another Load of e-Bull

After a long time, I peeped into my Yahoo mail. There were about a hundred new e-mails (not including the clearly ‘spam’ tagged e-mails, but real e-mail from seemingly real people). With enormous enthusiasm, I started checking the e-mails, one by one, from the latest to the oldest. The effect was almost immediately devastating. About 70 e-mails in all from long lost friends, trying desperately to reach me! Oh poor dear! How did I become so cold hearted to have forsaken them for so long? How could I abandon them? How could I not feel their efforts of trying to reach me?


With moist eyes, trembling fingers, I looked at the computer monitor, and started reading the first e-mail. Little did I know what was lurking in there…

Email #1: Sub: abc has sent you a friends request

On opening this e-mail, I found him addressing me as ‘Hi Om” I was so happy that finally one of those buggers has managed to find time to send an e-mail to me. But on further reading, I figured out that this was a computer generated message. By Jove! I could have sworn at first that it was written by abc!! Now it turns out it is not. Anyway, I followed the link, and the web page asked me to join the ‘networking’ group. I joined. ‘abc must have been using this website to locate his lost friends’ I thought to myself. Oddly, there were about 50 friends in his ‘friends-list’, and 10 scraps. I went on and left a message for him as someone else also had. Promptly logged off the webpage, and came back to my e-mails, content that I found one friend.

Email #2: From: Zorpia
Sub: bcd invites you to join Zorpia

Frowns. This is another person. But… Something is familiar about this e-mail. I clicked the e-mail to open a good shot of another invitation to this ‘very special’ networking group (as bcd mentioned).

Email: #3: From: WAYN
Sub: cde added you as a friend on WAYN

I started to get annoyed…

Email #4: FROM : WAYN
Sub: You have 6 messages and 1 friend request

Ever felt frustration compounding annoyance?

Email #5: From: WAYN
Sub: You have 8 messages and 1 friend request

What? Do you mean to say that when I got e-mail #5 there were 8 messages awaiting me, and by the time e-mail #4 came, two messages were deleted? Is this terrorism or something? Has someone broken into my un-accepted invitations, and deleted just two messages from it? I mean, am I nuts? I should like to meet those deleters, the rotten lot, for they seem to have the most free time in the world to do such things!

Email #6: From: WAYN
Sub: Where are you?

Bloody desperado!

Email #7: From: Konnects
Sub: I am inviting you to join my network

Go to hell…

Email #8: From: Tagged
Sub: X, Y and Z are waiting for you

What? X, Y, and Z? Waiting for me?? This sounds like they’re waiting to do something nasty!
GO TO HELL!!

Email #9: From: Tagged
Sub: Please respond or they will think you said no :(

abc again? This time from Tagged?? Aarrgh…
Note the sad smiley at the end. How innocent! It almost made me respond…
I hurriedly made a note – ‘Throttle abc if ever he crosses your path again. PS: Show no mercy’

Email #10: From: hi5
Sub: jkl has sent you a hi5 Friend request

Grrr… delete

Email #11: From: Twitter
Sub: pqr wants to keep up with you on Twitter

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

Email #12: From: Scour
Mail:

Hey,

Did you hear about Scour? It is the next gen search engine with Google/Yahoo/MSN results and user comments all on one page. Best of all we get paid for using it by earning points with every search, comment and vote. The points are redeemable for Visa gift cards! It's like earning credit card or airline points just for searching! Hit the link below to join for free and we will both get points!"


That was it! I hurriedly logged off my account, shut the computer, and ran away to the opposite wall, breathing heavily due to frustration, still staring at the monitor with disgust till long after it was off.

I had just witnessed a grand misuse of my e-mail address. The ones who did it were the one who call me their friends. I mean, they have my e-mail address. Why not compose a mail when they want to convey something? Why not ask me over e-mail before giving out my ID to those websites? Email-12 is an example, where indirect lures in the form of gift prompted this person to give my e-mail ID to scour. Doesn’t anyone miss me and contact me?

None of these ‘friends request’ ask ‘Hi, how are you? I heard you… blah blah’. Only – Join this community, join that network, bulls and more bulls. e-bulls!

What do you do on a social networking site?

1. You do no speak anything personal (because of obvious reasons)
2. You do not exchange e-mail IDs, phone numbers (at least you don’t let it be there for long)
3. You are cautious of messaging anything that can trigger controversy (among the other person’s friends. Reason – Obvious)
4. You do not speak of how you feel about something or someone (reason – Your other friends may track this message down. Needless trouble)
5. In fact, you do not speak anything meaningful!
6. You are not the real you!!

Just to end up showing that you are there to speak sweet nothings? Harmless little things? This partly explains why there’s an ever growing demand for the social networking sites. Everyone’s nice here. Welcome all. None who accept my invitation shall feel hurt here. Mr. Hyde shall not be seen here.

Some websites go a step beyond that. Facebook asks you if it can send a particular invitation to your friends from, say, your e-mail@provider.com account. If you select ‘all’, then every individual in your address book gets the invitation to join! Perhaps your boss will too, as he might be in your address book. Such ruthlessness!

I am sure my friends are meticulously filling up my inbox even now, I wish them all the very best.