After a long time, I peeped into my Yahoo mail. There were about a hundred new e-mails (not including the clearly ‘spam’ tagged e-mails, but real e-mail from seemingly real people). With enormous enthusiasm, I started checking the e-mails, one by one, from the latest to the oldest. The effect was almost immediately devastating. About 70 e-mails in all from long lost friends, trying desperately to reach me! Oh poor dear! How did I become so cold hearted to have forsaken them for so long? How could I abandon them? How could I not feel their efforts of trying to reach me?
With moist eyes, trembling fingers, I looked at the computer monitor, and started reading the first e-mail. Little did I know what was lurking in there…
Email #1: Sub: abc has sent you a friends request
On opening this e-mail, I found him addressing me as ‘Hi Om” I was so happy that finally one of those buggers has managed to find time to send an e-mail to me. But on further reading, I figured out that this was a computer generated message. By Jove! I could have sworn at first that it was written by abc!! Now it turns out it is not. Anyway, I followed the link, and the web page asked me to join the ‘networking’ group. I joined. ‘abc must have been using this website to locate his lost friends’ I thought to myself. Oddly, there were about 50 friends in his ‘friends-list’, and 10 scraps. I went on and left a message for him as someone else also had. Promptly logged off the webpage, and came back to my e-mails, content that I found one friend.
Email #2: From: Zorpia
Sub: bcd invites you to join Zorpia
Frowns. This is another person. But… Something is familiar about this e-mail. I clicked the e-mail to open a good shot of another invitation to this ‘very special’ networking group (as bcd mentioned).
Email: #3: From: WAYN
Sub: cde added you as a friend on WAYN
I started to get annoyed…
Email #4: FROM : WAYN
Sub: You have 6 messages and 1 friend request
Ever felt frustration compounding annoyance?
Email #5: From: WAYN
Sub: You have 8 messages and 1 friend request
What? Do you mean to say that when I got e-mail #5 there were 8 messages awaiting me, and by the time e-mail #4 came, two messages were deleted? Is this terrorism or something? Has someone broken into my un-accepted invitations, and deleted just two messages from it? I mean, am I nuts? I should like to meet those deleters, the rotten lot, for they seem to have the most free time in the world to do such things!
Email #6: From: WAYN
Sub: Where are you?
Bloody desperado!
Email #7: From: Konnects
Sub: I am inviting you to join my network
Go to hell…
Email #8: From: Tagged
Sub: X, Y and Z are waiting for you
What? X, Y, and Z? Waiting for me?? This sounds like they’re waiting to do something nasty!
GO TO HELL!!
Email #9: From: Tagged
Sub: Please respond or they will think you said no :(
abc again? This time from Tagged?? Aarrgh…
Note the sad smiley at the end. How innocent! It almost made me respond…
I hurriedly made a note – ‘Throttle abc if ever he crosses your path again. PS: Show no mercy’
Email #10: From: hi5
Sub: jkl has sent you a hi5 Friend request
Grrr… delete
Email #11: From: Twitter
Sub: pqr wants to keep up with you on Twitter
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
Email #12: From: Scour
Mail:
Hey,
Did you hear about Scour? It is the next gen search engine with Google/Yahoo/MSN results and user comments all on one page. Best of all we get paid for using it by earning points with every search, comment and vote. The points are redeemable for Visa gift cards! It's like earning credit card or airline points just for searching! Hit the link below to join for free and we will both get points!"
That was it! I hurriedly logged off my account, shut the computer, and ran away to the opposite wall, breathing heavily due to frustration, still staring at the monitor with disgust till long after it was off.
I had just witnessed a grand misuse of my e-mail address. The ones who did it were the one who call me their friends. I mean, they have my e-mail address. Why not compose a mail when they want to convey something? Why not ask me over e-mail before giving out my ID to those websites? Email-12 is an example, where indirect lures in the form of gift prompted this person to give my e-mail ID to scour. Doesn’t anyone miss me and contact me?
None of these ‘friends request’ ask ‘Hi, how are you? I heard you… blah blah’. Only – Join this community, join that network, bulls and more bulls. e-bulls!
What do you do on a social networking site?
1. You do no speak anything personal (because of obvious reasons)
2. You do not exchange e-mail IDs, phone numbers (at least you don’t let it be there for long)
3. You are cautious of messaging anything that can trigger controversy (among the other person’s friends. Reason – Obvious)
4. You do not speak of how you feel about something or someone (reason – Your other friends may track this message down. Needless trouble)
5. In fact, you do not speak anything meaningful!
6. You are not the real you!!
Just to end up showing that you are there to speak sweet nothings? Harmless little things? This partly explains why there’s an ever growing demand for the social networking sites. Everyone’s nice here. Welcome all. None who accept my invitation shall feel hurt here. Mr. Hyde shall not be seen here.
Some websites go a step beyond that. Facebook asks you if it can send a particular invitation to your friends from, say, your e-mail@provider.com account. If you select ‘all’, then every individual in your address book gets the invitation to join! Perhaps your boss will too, as he might be in your address book. Such ruthlessness!
I am sure my friends are meticulously filling up my inbox even now, I wish them all the very best.
With moist eyes, trembling fingers, I looked at the computer monitor, and started reading the first e-mail. Little did I know what was lurking in there…
Email #1: Sub: abc has sent you a friends request
On opening this e-mail, I found him addressing me as ‘Hi Om” I was so happy that finally one of those buggers has managed to find time to send an e-mail to me. But on further reading, I figured out that this was a computer generated message. By Jove! I could have sworn at first that it was written by abc!! Now it turns out it is not. Anyway, I followed the link, and the web page asked me to join the ‘networking’ group. I joined. ‘abc must have been using this website to locate his lost friends’ I thought to myself. Oddly, there were about 50 friends in his ‘friends-list’, and 10 scraps. I went on and left a message for him as someone else also had. Promptly logged off the webpage, and came back to my e-mails, content that I found one friend.
Email #2: From: Zorpia
Sub: bcd invites you to join Zorpia
Frowns. This is another person. But… Something is familiar about this e-mail. I clicked the e-mail to open a good shot of another invitation to this ‘very special’ networking group (as bcd mentioned).
Email: #3: From: WAYN
Sub: cde added you as a friend on WAYN
I started to get annoyed…
Email #4: FROM : WAYN
Sub: You have 6 messages and 1 friend request
Ever felt frustration compounding annoyance?
Email #5: From: WAYN
Sub: You have 8 messages and 1 friend request
What? Do you mean to say that when I got e-mail #5 there were 8 messages awaiting me, and by the time e-mail #4 came, two messages were deleted? Is this terrorism or something? Has someone broken into my un-accepted invitations, and deleted just two messages from it? I mean, am I nuts? I should like to meet those deleters, the rotten lot, for they seem to have the most free time in the world to do such things!
Email #6: From: WAYN
Sub: Where are you?
Bloody desperado!
Email #7: From: Konnects
Sub: I am inviting you to join my network
Go to hell…
Email #8: From: Tagged
Sub: X, Y and Z are waiting for you
What? X, Y, and Z? Waiting for me?? This sounds like they’re waiting to do something nasty!
GO TO HELL!!
Email #9: From: Tagged
Sub: Please respond or they will think you said no :(
abc again? This time from Tagged?? Aarrgh…
Note the sad smiley at the end. How innocent! It almost made me respond…
I hurriedly made a note – ‘Throttle abc if ever he crosses your path again. PS: Show no mercy’
Email #10: From: hi5
Sub: jkl has sent you a hi5 Friend request
Grrr… delete
Email #11: From: Twitter
Sub: pqr wants to keep up with you on Twitter
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
Email #12: From: Scour
Mail:
Hey,
Did you hear about Scour? It is the next gen search engine with Google/Yahoo/MSN results and user comments all on one page. Best of all we get paid for using it by earning points with every search, comment and vote. The points are redeemable for Visa gift cards! It's like earning credit card or airline points just for searching! Hit the link below to join for free and we will both get points!"
That was it! I hurriedly logged off my account, shut the computer, and ran away to the opposite wall, breathing heavily due to frustration, still staring at the monitor with disgust till long after it was off.
I had just witnessed a grand misuse of my e-mail address. The ones who did it were the one who call me their friends. I mean, they have my e-mail address. Why not compose a mail when they want to convey something? Why not ask me over e-mail before giving out my ID to those websites? Email-12 is an example, where indirect lures in the form of gift prompted this person to give my e-mail ID to scour. Doesn’t anyone miss me and contact me?
None of these ‘friends request’ ask ‘Hi, how are you? I heard you… blah blah’. Only – Join this community, join that network, bulls and more bulls. e-bulls!
What do you do on a social networking site?
1. You do no speak anything personal (because of obvious reasons)
2. You do not exchange e-mail IDs, phone numbers (at least you don’t let it be there for long)
3. You are cautious of messaging anything that can trigger controversy (among the other person’s friends. Reason – Obvious)
4. You do not speak of how you feel about something or someone (reason – Your other friends may track this message down. Needless trouble)
5. In fact, you do not speak anything meaningful!
6. You are not the real you!!
Just to end up showing that you are there to speak sweet nothings? Harmless little things? This partly explains why there’s an ever growing demand for the social networking sites. Everyone’s nice here. Welcome all. None who accept my invitation shall feel hurt here. Mr. Hyde shall not be seen here.
Some websites go a step beyond that. Facebook asks you if it can send a particular invitation to your friends from, say, your e-mail@provider.com account. If you select ‘all’, then every individual in your address book gets the invitation to join! Perhaps your boss will too, as he might be in your address book. Such ruthlessness!
I am sure my friends are meticulously filling up my inbox even now, I wish them all the very best.
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1 comment:
Hilarious! :)
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